Hello, and Good Even to Thee!

I bid thee welcome to my humble establishment, please enter, and make thyself at home. Shall I put on a fresh pot of tea? The parlor is right this way. Please, mind your step, I beg pardon for the disarray, I am, as always, in the midst of researching my latest find. Please, allow me remove those books from that chair so that you are able to have a seat. What brings thee here today, and of what assistance may I be to thee?

Ah, yes, those are quite difficult items to get one's hands upon, are they not? However; I have been able to obtain a few artifacts that may be of interest to you. I trust thou art a scholarly man? Good, good! We shall dispense with the explanations, then, shall we? Come; let us go to the more . . .intriguing artifacts for scholarly gents, such as yourself. They’re right upstairs, I’ve taken great care in ensuring that no one of. . . what are the words? Ah, yes, so that no one of lesser educational or moralistic values would be able to get to such fine treasures, one must care for the precious items we seek.